So, this morning, my mother woke me up, surprising me with, " kee lai liao, its your Chinese birthday, must eat noodles!" So, I'm Chinese but actually my Chinese birthday doesn't mean much to me. Just like my actual birthday. Its seems to be a smaller deal with each passing year and this year, with the feeling of "nothing" as my birthday approaches, I think I have reached the absolute low of all birthday lows. Hah. It suddenly doesn't matter anymore.

Being a 20 year old "Chinese", I think its quite sad to think that I haven't achieved much in life. I know theres a long way to go but, as my father bluntly puts it, when he was 20 he made his first million for his dad's company. I don't think I can even smell that money even though it doesn't really matter to me.

When I was practicing my drums just now, I just stopped to reflect on how sucky I am. Even after hours and months of practicing I still consider myself a novice, but I still continued practicing, its my dream and I will continue to pursue it. Guess life is meaningless without any dreams?

Over the weekend when I met the bandies for movies and dinner, and my A21 classmates for lunch, the common topic was "uni life". After hearing what they have to go through, it really came to me that I may not be able to take studying anymore. I hated it since young and still hate it. Of course not all subjects fall in the same category, but ever since army started I have hardly used my brain and I don't really plan to jump start it any time soon.

Well I made it to 20, lets see if I can make it to 30.