When Liangshi left Singapore to study for the next 3 years, I could sense the sadness around Yaofeng at the airport, though I was slightly sad to see him go, it still seemed foreign to me. And how time flies, soon it was Enru's turn to leave. As hers was for just a short period of time, it still seemed somewhat foreign to me. Now its May Chan's turn to go to Australia. This time I know what it means.

Because very soon, it will be Dearie's turn and then mine. Everytime I imagine her walking through the gates before me, I can't help but feel my heart ripped apart. She's my best friend, my closest friend, the only one who knows me inside out and understands what I feel everyday. The person whom I have communicated with and connected with every single day since we were together. Between us a bond that has been steadily growing over all this time. Despite our countless arguements and disagreements, she has always been there for me and hopefully I have always been there for her.

I can only imagine the pain I'm causing her, for me to leave for 4 years to pursue something I know I must, if not live to regret. I love her touch every single moment and now I have to live without it for most of the year. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I rather take away the absence and just stare at her and grow fonder every minute.

Everynight before I go to sleep, it gets painful just to think about what if I wake up the next day and she's already gone.

Who is going to sit beside me in the car listening to Class 95 while I'm at the wheel? Who is going to hold my hand and walk down the streets with me everyday? Who is going to talk to me everynight and kiss me goodnight everynight? Who is going to suggest a million places to eat and feed me bits and pieces? Who is going to hug me and hold me tight when I'm feeling down and out of place? Who is going to remind me who I am when I'm not feeling confident or feel unworthy of being here? Who is going to hear every single word I say and not make me feeling lonely, alone and pathetic? Who is going to tell me she loves me and make me feel complete and happy?

Who am I going to fetch home everyday? Who am I going to kiss while leaving her place everynight? Who am I going to call everynight? Who am I going to talk about my future with? Who am I going to cook for? Who am I to hold and tell her I love her?

Dear friends, if you can fulfill any of the above, do call me once in a while and let me know, so that I won't feel alone or out of place, or just plain alone in this world. Now I know what Kok Hoe felt, and I just plain happy for him that Joey is back and that they survived this experience.

So May or anyone who steps into the Airport to leave this country, if your feeling alone, sad or missing anyone, your not alone. To my friends, Liangshi, Enru, May, Amy and anyone else who is leaving this country.

Goh Huishan, I love you so much!



I will wait for you, please wait for me, cause I love you too.