School is starting! The excitement isn't exactly overwhelming but at least I feel my life is finally back on track. I consider it a gap year, and a year of discovering myself, the world around me, a year of putting myself through many lonely periods, just to appreciate what was in front of me. I feel like I'm getting quieter and quieter every year, maybe when I'm 30 I will become mute. A gradual path to being mute.
Its scary to think that the last essay I wrote was in cold Boston, and the topic being about feminism. Cold + Feminism. Reminded me of Ms K. Now I can only imagine the amount of WD-40 my rusted brain needs to get started on the first piece of assignment in NUS. Then again, I want to start school. I feel so old, not old literally, but relatively. Like how I will be studying with people made in the 90's and how my peers in the same age group would be completing (completed) their studying and starting a new chapter in their life. No more long, outlandish hairdos, irresponsible binging and eating, and staying up late for no apparently reason. There's this nervous hum at the bottom of my stomach.
Facebook is a great tool, when I'm bored I look through photos, from people I don't know to my own. It just brings back so many memories. But the bulk of it comes from JC days. Honestly, you won't know how much I want to relive those days, and perhaps change some decisions. Now I understand what the seniors meant. Can't believe it took me 5 fucking years to get it. Yes, so in case anyone was wondering, I have seen all and I mean all your photos. But the people on my mind are the bandies, the soccer team and most of all (and weirdly) my A21 classmates. I really miss them, and I have no idea why. Just wish we can all meet up.
And I can't believe I missed my Pri School 10 year class reunion. But then again, its an all boys school, and we hardly talked.
Meanwhile, for those who are still interested, Jon has left the band. It has been an amazing ride with him. And he is easily one of the best I have had the honor of working with. Its sad that we must take to our paths now. The band is still around, we just finished recording a demo of one of the songs I wrote. Which will be dedicated to him definitely. Thank you Jon for everything.
Just watched The Love of Siam with Shan. It was amazing. Easily the best movie I have ever watched. I saw the trailer for it 2 years ago, while watching a movie in Bangkok with Ben Chan and Rey, and when I came home I was desperately searching for the trailer, or a place I could rip it off from, but as usual, indie films are a bitch to find. Finally, got to see it in the cinema, just an absolutely mind blowing show. There's this sadness which creeps up on you slowly through the show, from the first scene to the last, slowly grasping at your heart strings. Although my movie partner was sobbing her eyes out, I didn't, but mainly cause the show causes you to hurt slowly in a sad way, rather then wash you out with immediate depression. I just thought the soundtrack was great, the show was reaching out in so many different levels, and in no way was there any pretense detected. Please, it a favour and go watch it. *advisory for all homophobes: don't watch.
Somehow, although totally unrelated and totally on a different level, it reminded me of the Leap Years. Which then brings my train of thought to Singapore, and its artistic movements and expressions from individuals. I can easily say without any hesitation that I really love Singapore. And its just an amazing place. Imperfections yes. But like anything in life, like relationships to being an individual, we always keep working at it. Now that her birthday is approaching once more, Happy 44th Birthday, as we mature together, life goes on.
Song for today:
David Sylvian and Ryuichi Sakamoto -Forbidden Colours
Deon.
opened at 10:55 am